Pope
Diva I
7/3/01 4:17 PM
|
 |
FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
 
|
Ispired by
Jaded1's thread,
Farewell,
its been swell......
and by AeroCult Members Leaving the
BBS
***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING NEWS***BREAKING
NEWS***
SIGHTINGS? AeroBelievers Report Signs And
Wonders:
AeroCult Members Ponder Significance of Paranormal
Events
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story
Filed: Tuesday, July 3, 2001 4:00 PM Boston Time
LONG
BEACH (Pope Diva I) -- After the recent departure of several
AeroCultists from sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board,
remaining cult members consider the meaning of unexplained
paranormal phenomena.
The "AeroCult," a group of music
fans whose adherents believe that members of the popular musical act
Aerosmith (America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band) are gods, comprise
a subsect of American society that is not always embraced by the
wider culture. The AeroCult, like the cosanostra, is
reportedly a very hard group to leave, as few AeroCultists ever
leave the cult, and among those who do, even fewer stay away for any
substantial period of time.
A recent rash of defections from
sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board on the World Wide Web (a
gathering place for fellowship among AreoCult members) has caused
dissention in the ranks of the AeroCult. Bickering, in-fighting,
back-biting, and general crankiness -- which some believe to be
related to either the unseasonably hot weather of late, and many
others believe to be caused by widespread paranoia over receiving
concert tickets "in time" -- have taken their toll on the close-knit
group of worshippers.
Early Tuesday morning, however, members
of the group began to report strange occurences related to the band.
Just after sunrise in Louisianna, an AeroCult member calling
herself "dreamin'ragdoll" claimed to have seen the band's icon in
clouds over the bayou near her home:
LOUSIANNA:
An
AeroMiracle?
Claiming that this cloud
formation was "a sign," dreamin'ragdoll went on to explain that the
deities must be sending a message to the flock, and that the
"Miracle of the Clouds" is intended to bring those who have fallen
away back into the fold.
In a matter of minutes, an
AeroCultists in Manhattan, who calls himself "licknapromise" claimed
to have spotted a series of five diamonds atop a skyscraper nearby.
NEW YORK CITY:
An AeroMiracle?
The gems,
perched atop the skyscraper from its east to west corners, were
reportedly configured in a manner reminiscent of cover art on the
album "Rocks," released by Aerosmith in 1976 and considered by many
to be one of the groups finest efforts.
licknapromise, who
claims to be able to "speak in tongues," insists that this is a
message from the deities, which he translates to be, "Look at all we
have given you! Put aside your petty differences and worship in a
manner pleasing to us!"
Shortly thereafter, an AeroCultist in
Long Beach, California calling herself "Pope Diva I" claimed that
the band itself appeared to her in a vision on the ceiling over her
bed.
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA:
An AeroMiracle?
Pope Diva I claims
that the image of the band appeared suddenly, and that she was
filled with the band members'... divine spirit. The vision, she
insists, lasted through the night, and left her with the certainty
that the band members are, indeed, gods, and that their visitation
was intended to bring all AeroCultists back into the bosom of the
band, and back to sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board, for
joyous worship.
We are unable to confirm whether or not these
alleged paranormal events have resulted in the return of any of the
AeroCult defectors.
Please stay tuned, as this is a
developing story...
--30--
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva
I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
|
aerodoe
7/3/01
4:22 PM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
funny! any more signs??
:)
|
Pope
Diva I
7/3/01 6:29 PM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
***THIS JUST IN***THIS JUST IN***THIS JUST IN***
A
SIGN? Washington Monument Reportedly Draped in Massive
Scarves
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story
Filed: Tuesday, July 3, 2001 6:30 PM Boston
Time
WASHINGTON DC (Pope Diva I) -- We have unconfirmed
reports from unnamed AeroCultists in the nation's capitol that the
recently refurbished Washington Monument appears to be draped in a
series of long pieces of gauzy fabric, which are said to be
"snapping smartly in the breeze on this windy
evening."
The as-yet-unidentified AeroCultists claim that
these are actually scarves, identical to those regularly tied to the
mic stand of one of their gods, Steven Tyler of the musical act
Aerosmith (America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band), when the group is
performing live.
We are unable to confirm
whether or not these are, indeed, the same scarves Mr. Tyler is
purported to use (just on a much grander scale), although we can
confirm that there is a massive traffic jam on DuPont Circle,
possibly caused by gawkers, or by individuals abandoning their autos
to run to the monument, site of this latest paranormal
event.
We have no information as to whether or not
authorities intend to leave the scarves undisturbed during
tomorrow's Independence Day Ceremonies, if these reports prove to be
accurate.
Please stay tuned, as this continues to be a
developing story...
--30--
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva
I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
|
aeropixie
7/3/01
8:44 PM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
Hee hee this is great! So were the commandments! I printed them
out and put them on my wall, but sadly my dad didn't find them funny
and made me take them down. Then he said that me and who ever else
that thought it was cool was really messed up in the head.
:(
Free car? Money? Point me to the dotted
line!
|
tylerslady
7/3/01
9:18 PM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
Obviously your Dad isn't an Aero-dad, sadly neither was mine.
Take it in stride. As a "cleverly disguised as a responsible adult"
I understand where he's coming from - we want only the best for our
children....sad but true
Just hide it away and read it when
he isn't looking and don't take it TOO seriously - We do have to act
like adults when we're parents...until say you're 15 and we decide
that we want to embarrass the sh*t out of you! Unfortunately that
lasts until you're about 35 or so.
ALL HAIL AEROSMITH!
ALL
HAIL AEROSMITH!
|
Pope
Diva I
7/3/01 11:37 PM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
***THIS JUST IN***THIS JUST IN***THIS JUST IN***
A
SIGN? Italian Authorities Report Mysterious Appearance of Red Shirt
on The
David
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story
Filed: Tuesday, July 3, 2001 11:30 PM Boston Time
FLORENCE
(Pope Diva I) -- Giuliano Urbani, Italy's Minister of Culture, gave
a brief press conference at the Galleria dell'Accademia today, after
visitors to the gallery reported having seen a red silk shirt
suddenly materialize on Michaelangelo's "The David."
The full English text of
Minister Urbani's remarks follows:
[Translated from the
original Italian] Today is indeed a blessed day for Italy, and
for all of Europe. I do not pretend to know the significance of the
event that has unfolded here today. Only time will tell if this
event preceeds a full European Tour by the band Aerosmith. The good
people of Italy and of Europe have patiently awaited the return of
our musical saviors. Perhaps today's miracle is a sign that our wait
will not be long. Thank you, Aerosmith be with you, and good
day.
Minister Urbani quickly left the hastily-staged
press conference, tears in his eyes, and did not take any questions
from the gaggle of reporters that had, on very short notice, filled
the room to overflow capacity.
Earlier, guests of the
Galleria dell'Accademia claimed that, while observing
Michaelangelo's masterpiece, the strains of "Back in the Saddle"
filled the room, and a red silk shirt appeared on "The David." As
the song built towards its climax, the shirt, which at first
appeared ephemeral, appeared to gain substance, until it was
indistinguishable from real clothing.
For almost twenty
minutes, none of the guests present moved, for fear of breaking "the
spell." As the next tour group arrived to observe the statue,
reports spread to the Galleria dell'Accademia's staff that something
"miraculous" had occured.
No one in the Galleria has yet
attempted to touch the shirt. The general concensus among scholars
and theologians consulted by the Ministry of Culture is that human
contact might cause the shirt to vanish, along with any hopes of a
European tour by Aerosmith.
The government of The United
States, which has today been the site of several similar events of a
seemingly paranormal nature, has not commented on either the several
events in North America, or this most recent event in
Europe.
Please stay tuned, as this continues to be a
developing story.
--30--
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva
I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
|
scipio
7/4/01
05:59 AM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
i'm impressed by the clouds!
> from an
angel's eye ain't no place to hide <
|
^A^
7/4/01
06:11 AM
|
|
Re: FAN FIC: Signs and Wonders |
|
DIVA!
Are you still here, or anyone else, I'm
getting lonely here!
I don't need to
speak,I play the guitar Joe Perry
|
|
