Pope
Diva I
7/1/01 7:27 PM
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FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
 
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Ispired by
"magictouch*'s thread,
Is
it even POssible...................??
and AeroBoard member's
responses to it
***SUNDAY IN-DEPTH FEATURE: THE BLUE ARMY***
Does
Aerosmith Worship Constitute Cultish Behavior?
A Review of
Aero-Cultism and Curtural
Consequences
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Story
Filed: Saturday, July 1, 2001 7:15 PM EST
BOSTON (Pope Diva
I) -- Beginning in the 1970s, increasing numbers of individuals
began to observe and report striking and frightening changes in
their loved ones. Formerly serious, high-achieving, well-adjusted
citizens would suddenly throw all other concerns and
responsibilities by the wayside to devote themselves completely to
the rock band Aerosmith and their music. Considered a temporary
abberation by music critics and social scientists, Aerosmith worship
was not immediately identified as a cult.
In many cases,
individuals also worried about their loved ones' physical well-being
because of the groups’ dietary, health, work, or sexual practices.
Although conservatives obtained some literature denouncing
Aerosmith's lifestyle and music, others had nowhere to turn and
usually worried alone for long periods of time. Gradually, they
began to find and help each other.
Occasionally, these
individuals would find a mental health professional or clergyman who
sincerely listened to their concerns. Individuals would usually
voice such observations as: "That’s not my friend"; "He talks like a
fanatic, as though he were programmed"; "He spends all his money on
Aerosmith concerts and Aero-phernalia".
"She was fine, but
now she seems like a different person"; "She used to like easy
listening, but now all she listens to is Aerosmith, and at
ear-splitting volume"; "She used to think clean-cut guys were
attractive, but now she won't date anyone who doesn't look like
[insert Aerosmith band member name]"; "Her closet is full of nothing
but red silk shirts, black leather, drapey harlequin jumpsuits,
scarves, cigars, and sex toys."
Soon, these concerned
individuals and professionals realized that they were observing a
process akin to what was popularly known as brainwashing. But they
didn't know what to do. Their friends wouldn’t listen, or couldn't
hear them over the blaring music. They sometimes succeeded in
persuading their friends to listen to other bands, and the term
"deprogramming" was used to describe the process of countering
Aerosmith's unshakable hold over the lives and minds of their fans.
These attempts at deprogramming never succeeded for long, however,
as Aerosmith continued to release new material and to tour in
support of it.
Seeing no other options, some individuals
began to bring AeroFanatics to secure places, and to detain them
there until they had listened to Lawrence Welk music played for
hours on end. Frequently, these encounters lasted three days or
more. The process appeared to be working. Hundreds of AeroFanatics
renouced the band, promising to destroy their albums, and to never
attend another show, or watch another video. In time, it became
apparent that the cunning AeroCult members were only telling the
deprogrammers what they wanted to hear, and were returning to their
fanatical Aerosmith worship on-the-sly, just as quickly as they were
released by their captors.
Many individuals, those who
actually succeeded in having their loved ones deprogrammed, reported
that their now-Aero-free friends seemed lifeless. AeroFanatics in
recovery reported bitterly that they felt as though they were in a
psychological prison.
Because deprogramming had come to be
associated with coercion and confinement and because it rarely
worked, it caused quite a controversy. AeroCultists railed against
it, in large part because they hated Lawrence Welk music. Others
denounced it on legal and ethical grounds. Others in the
deprogramming movement defected and became devotees of the AeroCult,
themselves. These defectors came to believe that Aerosmith were, in
fact, gods -- just as the AeroCult members had always
claimed.
Charges and countercharges were leveled between the
deprogrammers and defectors from their ranks. Lawsuits arose from
their battles. Judges and juries -- once Aerosmith's albums, concert
footage, and videos were entered into evidence -- inevitably found
for the defectors, and became AeroFanatics themselves.
AeroMania swept the globe, and institutions responsible for
providing social services began to break down, as those in charge of
these institutions abandoned their duties to follow their deities
whenever they toured.
Aerosmith's critics, always the first
to insist that devotion to Aerosmith must be cultish behavior run
amok, eventually began to feel that they were in jeopardy if they
continued to speak out. These critics also had to contend with the
fact that their efforts to force AeroWorship underground had
succeeded only in making the AeroCult members more numerous, more
stubborn, and more devoted.
In time, it became apparent to
Aerosmith critics and social scientists alike, that this was a cult
that could not be broken. In an effort to reassure AeroCult members
that they were no longer in danger of being deprived of their
deities, the wider society made gestures of reconciliation and good
faith.
Grammies, MTV music awards, Oscar nominations, a star
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and -- most recently -- induction
into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, were among the olive branches
extended to the AeroCult by the uninitiated, and were all designed
to bring the decades-old battle to a peaceful end.
AeroCult
members, always happy and approachable when Aerosmith is touring,
now seem philosophical about how they fit in in the wider
society.
Tammy, a devoted AeroCult member since childhood, is
willing to forgive and forget the ugly past; and even happily
accepts that not everyone understands or approves of her belief
system.
"Look," she said, "Everybody doesn't have to worship
Aerosmith. We never said they did. In fact," she went on to say,
"the less people who do, the more for me."
Tammy, who was
interviewed as she sat in her Long Beach, California home amongst
her beloved Aerosmith Collection, switched the CD's in her player
and hit play on the VCR, obviously already growing tired of our
short interview.
"More for me... I can DEFINITELY live with
that."
--30--
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva
I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
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tylerslady
7/1/01
8:27 PM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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Diva, take a bow!
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tylerslady
7/1/01
8:39 PM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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By the way Diva, don't you think that pic of you "ready to wango"
should have a red shirt too?
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tylerslady
7/1/01
9:19 PM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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ROTFLMAO Diva, great pic! And absolutely not trying to frame you
- we're in this together, sooner or later the DC Detective will
solve the crime! Besides, you've got to be around for the Grand
Opening of the
Aero-Boutique!
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NYaerogirl
7/1/01
10:06 PM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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*Tosses Roses*..clap clap clap...can u top that, Im sure you
can...no pressure..
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Pope
Diva I
7/2/01 07:24 AM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF AEROSMITHICISM
Received by Divine
Revelation from a Burning Bush
(or somewhere in that general
vicinity)
Transcribed by Pope Diva
I
THE FIRST COMMANDMENT
We are Aerosmith, thy
Gods, who brought thee out of the land of easy-listening, and
delivered thee from the house of disco. Thou shalt not have strange
bands before Us. Thou shalt not adore them, nor serve them: We are
Aerosmith, thy Gods, heavy and sexy, visiting revelations upon men,
and fantasies upon women, and showing mercy unto millions that love
Us, by regularly creating new Works and Wonders, and pouring out Our
Spirit upon the face of the whole earth.
THE SECOND COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not commit
the heresy of turning thine own ear away from Our New Works and
Wonders; for Aerosmith will not hold him guiltless that shall harden
his heart or ear against Us.
THE THIRD COMMANDMENT
Remember that thou
keep all Concert Days holy. Many days shalt thou labour, and shalt
thou do all thy works. But concert days shall be spent in worship of
Aerosmith, thy Gods; thou shalt do no work on it, thou nor thy
squeeze, nor thy companions, nor the stranger that is within hearing
distance. For three decades Aerosmith hath made America's Greatest
Rock and Roll Music, made women swoon, made men more manly, and thy
worship in return is commanded.
THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT
Honour all members of
Aerosmith, that thou mayest be sanctified in the bosom of the entire
band, and that thou mayest have fellowship with other worshippers in
a spirit of true peace and benevolence.
THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not sit
still at any Aerosmith performance. Whether live or recorded;
whether in stadium, arena, amphitheater, club or other venue;
whether on television, on the radio, on digital or analog medium;
whether audio, or audio and video; thou art commanded to either
sing, dance, shout, scream, clap, whistle, hold thy lighters aloft,
or make out heavily.
THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not perform
before man, nor allow to be performed before man, lame-ass covers of
Our Works and Wonders.
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not allow
thine own jealousy of Aerosmith, Thy Gods, to loose thy wicked
tongue against Us. Getteth thee a life!
THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not bear
false witness against Aerosmith, thy Gods. Thou shalt not imply nor
declare that We are no longer omnipotent. Thou shalt not commit the
heresy of confusing chronological age with true age. Thou shalt not
demand that thine own musical calcification be indulged by
Aerosmith, thy Gods.
THE NINTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt honor the
Scripture, which is Our Revelation -- Our Lyrics, Our Music, Our
Spoken Words, Our Writings. Thou shalt not bow down before false
music critics with pimply asses, nor ones who hath never seen a
real-live woman naked.
THE TENTH COMMANDMENT
Thou art permitted to
covet Our Talent, Our Bodies, Our Kick-Ass Lifestyle. Thou art
permitted to lust after Us, and to fan these flames in thine own
heart, and in the hearts of others. Thy desire is pleasing to Us,
and thy devotion shall be rewarded by Us for all the days that thou
rockest.
Amen.
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva
I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
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tylerslady
7/2/01
7:50 PM
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Re: FAN FIC: Aerosmith a Cult?! |
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bump
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