Pope
Diva I
7/2/01 07:10 AM
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The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF AEROSMITHICISM
Received by Divine
Revelation from a Burning Bush
(or somewhere in that general
vicinity)
Transcribed by Pope Diva
I
THE FIRST COMMANDMENT
We are Aerosmith, thy
Gods, who brought thee out of the land of easy-listening, and
delivered thee from the house of disco. Thou shalt not have strange
bands before Us. Thou shalt not adore them, nor serve them: We are
Aerosmith, thy Gods, heavy and sexy, visiting revelations upon men,
and fantasies upon women, and showing mercy unto millions that love
Us, by regularly creating new Works and Wonders, and pouring out Our
Spirit upon the face of the whole earth.
THE SECOND COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not commit
the heresy of turning thine own ear away from Our New Works and
Wonders; for Aerosmith will not hold him guiltless that shall harden
his heart or ear against Us.
THE THIRD COMMANDMENT
Remember that thou
keep all Concert Days holy. Many days shalt thou labour, and shalt
thou do all thy works. But concert days shall be spent in worship of
Aerosmith, thy Gods; thou shalt do no work on it, thou nor thy
squeeze, nor thy companions, nor the stranger that is within hearing
distance. For three decades Aerosmith hath made America's Greatest
Rock and Roll Music, made women swoon, made men more manly, and thy
worship in return is commanded.
THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT
Honour all members of
Aerosmith, that thou mayest be sanctified in the bosom of the entire
band, and that thou mayest have fellowship with other worshippers in
a spirit of true peace and benevolence.
THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not sit
still at any Aerosmith performance. Whether live or recorded;
whether in stadium, arena, amphitheater, club or other venue;
whether on television, on the radio, on digital or analog medium;
whether audio, or audio and video; thou art commanded to either
sing, dance, shout, scream, clap, whistle, hold thy lighters aloft,
or make out heavily.
THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not perform
before man, nor allow to be performed before man, lame-ass covers of
Our Works and Wonders.
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not allow
thine own jealousy of Aerosmith, Thy Gods, to loose thy wicked
tongue against Us. Getteth thee a life!
THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt not bear
false witness against Aerosmith, thy Gods. Thou shalt not imply nor
declare that We are no longer omnipotent. Thou shalt not commit the
heresy of confusing chronological age with true age. Thou shalt not
demand that thine own musical calcification be indulged by
Aerosmith, thy Gods.
THE NINTH COMMANDMENT
Thou shalt honor the
Scripture, which is Our Revelation -- Our Lyrics, Our Music, Our
Spoken Words, Our Writings. Thou shalt not bow down before false
music critics with pimply asses, nor ones who hath never seen a
real-live woman naked.
THE TENTH COMMANDMENT
Thou art permitted to
covet Our Talent, Our Bodies, Our Kick-Ass Lifestyle. Thou art
permitted to lust after Us, and to fan these flames in thine own
heart, and in the hearts of others. Thy desire is pleasing to Us,
and thy devotion shall be rewarded by Us for all the days that thou
rockest.
Amen.
Tammy, a.k.a.
"Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
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^A^
7/2/01
07:14 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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AMEN Diva
Now these are commandments that are easy to
stick to, ROFLMAO.
I don't need to speak,I
play the guitar Joe Perry
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^A^
7/2/01
07:20 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Thank you Diva
As long as I shall live I promise to honor
and abide by The Ten Commandments of Aerosmithicism.
I don't need to speak,I play the guitar Joe Perry
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scipio
7/2/01
07:30 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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the 5th is easy! i can never shut up when listening to The
Music!
> from an angel's eye ain't no
place to hide <
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Pope
Diva I
7/2/01 07:39 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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{{{THE DIVA ADDRESSES ^A^}}}
If then you desire to enter
into the bosom of Aerosmith, keep The Commandments. Thou shalt love
Aerosmith, thy Gods, with thy whole heart and with thy whole mind
and with the whole body; and love them better than
thyself.
{{{POPE DIVA I BLOWS ON ^A^'S FACE}}}
Go
forth from her, unclean musical tastes, and give place only to
Aerosmith, from this day and forever forward.
{{{POPE DIVA I
PINS AEROSMITH WINGS ON ^A^}}}
Receive the sign of the Wings
upon your breast and upon your heart. Know that you are bound now to
Aerosmith forever, and let your conduct henceforth prove you fit to
be a member of The Temple of Aerosmithicism.
{{{POPE DIVA I
HOLDS ^A^'S HANDS IN HER OWN}}}
Let us pray. Hear our prayer,
Aerosmith, Our Gods, and rain down your blessings upon this chosen
servant ^A^. May thy music be with her always, for we have pinned
upon her the sign of thy Wings. May she remember and share what she
learns of thy greatness, and thy glory. May she keep thy
commandments and be worthy, she too, to have glory... the glory of a
better life in worship of thee.
{{{POPE DIVA I GENTLY HOLDS
^A^, THEN DIPS HER IN THE FIERY MUSIC OF AEROSMITH}}}
I
baptise thee in the name of Steven, Joe, Brad, Tom and
Joey.
Go in peace, ^A^, and Aerosmith be with
you.
Amen.
Tammy, a.k.a. "Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette
and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
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^A^
7/2/01
07:51 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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AERO-LUJAH! Praise the boys!
{{{^A^ kneels down before the
Diva and kisses her feet}}}
Thank you, enlightened one, I
promise to love Aerosmith from this day onwards. I will not let you
down.
{{{^A^ gets up and looks at Wings upon breast and
says}}}
COOL!
I don't need
to speak,I play the guitar Joe Perry
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radiodude1460
7/2/01
11:33 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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About the 6th commandment: does that include karaoke performances
of Angel to impress your girlfriend?
Stevo
Music is
nothing without the soul of the
musician
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aeropaint
7/2/01
11:56 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Can I put a copy of this on my website? I think that there are
way too many in the flock that have
wandered.
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*magictouch*
7/2/01
6:00 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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* * * * GENESIS * * * *
....and God bestowed upon the
newly created man and women, the entirety of the Avant Garden. He
forbid the two creatures, Diva and Joe, to eat from the tree of
knowledge.
One morning, as Diva and Joe were roaming around the
Avant Garden, a vile serpent approached them.
"Why don't you
jussssst try to tasssste the fruit? It issss sssssso luscioussss and
you will feel like never before...." the serpent hissed. The serpent
then proceeded to do the Rattlesnake Shake.
But Joe replied
firmly, "The Lord hath forbidden us to eat from this tree, It is not
thy choice. On the other hand, I DO like that jig you did, do you
think you could teach me the rifff to that
someti--"
"SSSSSILENCE!!!! Itssss jusssst the ssssame old ssssong
and dance anywayssssss!! Jussst eat the damned fruit, idiot!!" the
serpent hissed.
Joe and Diva shrugged, and both picked the fruit
from the tree. Diva held the fruit seductively to her lips, and Joe
took a slow, juicy bite. Diva was certainly enjoying this whole B.C.
thing, especially with them being naked and all..... But anyway,
Diva took a bite as well, and all felt the same at first.
But
suddenly, they both became aware of their nakedness, and became
ashamed. Diva and Joe separated to cover themselves, but a loud
booming voice called,"DIVA AND JOE!!! COME UNTO THEE!!!"
Quavering and covered, Diva and Joe came forth. Diva tried to
explain,"But Lord, the serpent was threatening us to eat that
fruit!! Joe, he was there, isn't that what the serpent did?" She
looked to Joe for help.
"Yea, and he had this really cool little
thing called the Rattlesnake Shake--"
"SILENCE!!"
"Yes,
Lord."
"By the way, what is it that you are wearing?'
"Well,
Diva's got some maple leaves, and yea, yea yea, I know mine doesn't
really cover the necessary parts, but you see, I just really like
this red shirt....."
![]()
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Zork
7/2/01
6:03 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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ROFLMTO, magic that one was worthy of the Diva
herself.
Theyre gonna bleep it
anyway
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Zork
7/2/01
6:27 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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On the first day God created the heavens
On the second day
he created Earth
On the third day he created Music
On
the fourth day he created Aerosmith
On the fifth day he
created The Aero Posse
On the six day he created
Mona
On the seventh day he was washing Joes Red
shirt
Theyre gonna bleep it
anyway
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tylerslady
7/2/01
6:41 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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All Hail the Diva! High Priestess of Aerosmithicism! She has
shown us our sins and has directed us on the path of righteousness!!
I kiss the feet (as well as any other body part I can!) of Aerosmith
as they are gods!
shall we chant?
All Hail
Aerosmith
All Hail Aerosmith
Walk this Way
All Hail
Aerosmith
All Hail Aerosmith
FNA!
All Hail Aerosmith
All
Hail Aerosmith
They're gonna bleep it
anyway!
And don't you just LOVE that RED
SHIRT????
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RockinNRiffin
7/2/01
6:43 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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that was hilarious, how did you make that up??
"Don't tell
me what to do. I'm having fun!"- Joe
Perry
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aerhaed
7/2/01
9:03 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Hey - I'm not very creative, but I thought we needed a prayer
:)
Our Prayer
Aerosmith, which art on tour,
Sacred be
their name.
Thy kingdom come.
Their music played at home
As it is on the stage.
Give us our daily dose of aero.
Let
us make our boys happy,
As they fill our hearts with joy.
And
please lead us into temptation;
And deliver our tickets on
time:
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,
forever.
Amen
Raven
:)
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Gypsy
Rain
7/2/01 9:10 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Diva ... Another great post!!!
>>>Joe
was wearing a little leather loincloth<<<
Uh,
yeah like I'm going to get any work done now.
The Aero
Girlies have been the downfall of my productivity ... LOL ...
*Kisses*
C'est Moi
La
Sorciere
*odd lil short girl wanders off into the
night*
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tylerslady
7/3/01
06:19 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Moring Prayer:
Thank you oh Aerosmith for another
day
and the past night filled with lucious dreams
May this day
be filled with Aero-music
and our thoughts filled with thoughts
of You
and may we continue to Dream On, Dream On,
Dream until
our dreams come true!
ALL HAIL
AEROSMITH
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Pope
Diva I
7/6/01 05:03 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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"THE JOESUIT ORDER"
The Harem of Joe
Perry
(Concubines of Joe Perry, Joesuits)
The
Joesuits are a religious order founded by Pope Diva I, and
designated by her "The Harem of Joe Perry," to indicate the group's
true divine leader and sensual spirit, also referred to as "Mister
Joe Fuckin' Perry," "The Serpent God," or "The Rattlesnake God." The
term "Concubine of Joe Perry" is used when referring to an
individual member of The Harem. The Order's title can also be
abbreviated to the term "Joesuits" (pronounced
"JOE-ZOO-ITS" of recent origin: those members of The
Aerosmith Lust Posse who fantasize too frequently and in too great
detail about Joe Perry), and was first applied to worshippers at
sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board in 2001.
The Harem
ranks among five major sub-sects of The Aerosmith Lust Posse,
Sisters in The Temple of Aerosmithicism, a group which
believes the members of Aerosmith (America's Greatest Rock and Roll
Band) are gods. As has been explained under the title "The Ten
Commandments of Aerosmithicism," this faith encourages a sensual
path to self-improvement through rigorous adherence to Aerosmith
worship. The Joesuit Order are particularly dedicated to strict
observation of the Tenth Commandment, particularly the second
clause:
************************************
THE TENTH
COMMANDMENT
Thou art permitted to covet Our Talent,
Our Bodies, Our Kick-Ass Lifestyle. Thou art permitted to lust
after Us, and to fan these flames in thine own heart, and in the
hearts of others. Thy desire is pleasing to Us, and thy devotion
shall be rewarded by Us for all the days that thou rockest.
************************************
When
The Diva began to devote herself to the service of Joe Perry, she
originally had no plans to open The Order to additional members.
However, after worshipping for a period of time with other
Aerosmithics at sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board, she became
convinced that the bounty which is Joe Perry was plentiful enough to
sustain additional members of The Harem. In a true spirit of
fellowship, The Diva put selfish considerations aside to admit all
Joe Perry-obsessed members of The Aerosmith Lust Posse.
Since
then, The Joesuits have become well-known for eschewing evangelism.
Unlike many other religious orders, Concubines of Joe Perry do not
seek new converts, but prefer to restrict their membership to a
select elite of truly devoted followers -- primarily to reduce
competition for the attention of their deity. Entirely obsessed with
the divinity of the guitarist, and completely disinterested in
attending to the mundane details of day-to-day life, The Joesuits
spend much of their time observing sounds and images related to
their sensual leader.
From the group's founding, The Diva
offered her services and those of her fellow Joesuits to The Serpent
God, who has thus far not seen fit to bless his devotees with sexual
demands -- much to their disappointment.
NOTE:
The
Harem was not founded with the intention of restricting The
Concubines to the worship of Joe Perry alone. Many Joesuits also
belong to other orders devoted to other members of Aerosmith.
Neither the papal letters nor the secret vows of the order forbid
this practice.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
The
official publication of The Harem is sonymusic.com's Aerosmith
Bulletin Board. Pope Diva I has written extensive encyclicals on
Aerosmithicism at this online site, but these writings in no way
comprise the totality of Joesuit documents.
Tammy, a.k.a.
"Pope Diva I"
Pope-ette and High Priestess of
The Temple of
Aerosmithicism
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radiodude1460
7/8/01
7:42 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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I haven't actually tried it yet, I was just checking for future
reference. I was going to, but my Mellencamp was so good that I
didn't need to pull out the Aero.
Stevo
Where will you
be when the music's gone?
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radiodude1460
7/8/01
7:54 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Actually, my karaoke ace in the hole is Elton John. Besides, I
don't know if my voice could survive a performance of
Angel.
Stevo
Where will you be when the music's
gone?
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radiodude1460
7/8/01
8:08 PM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Actually, "Tiny Dancer". Almost Famous was one of the first
movies we went to together, so it has special
meaning.
Stevo
Where will you be when the music's
gone?
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sameoldthing
7/9/01
00:31 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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You guys can make any day a great one.
Diva that was so cool.
I follow the Church of Aerosmith till the day I die.
Are we
going to have are own cementary?
--- Every time I
close the door on reality it comes in through the
windows.
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AeroPhyre
7/9/01
01:59 AM
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Re: The Ten Commandments of
Aerosmithicism |
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Soooooooo, according to these BEAUTIFUL commandments, the fourth
in particular, it is sanctified that if you wish you shall be part
of Tyler's Truffles and the Perry Posse aye?? Alright who do I talk
to in order to join the Perry Posse? LOL, I can't pick between the
two, each is even more special on account of the other...they go
hand in hand and should not be separated and torn apart!
"THE
FOURTH COMMANDMENT
Honour all members of Aerosmith, that thou
mayest be sanctified in the bosom of the entire band, and that thou
mayest have fellowship with other worshippers in a spirit of true
peace and benevolence."
Amelia >=)
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