“Joe? Joe? Hello! Ground Control to Major Perry!” Joe shook his head. He was staring out the window of a little restaurant in Boston. It was early for him to be up. “Sorry” he said “I zoned out. What were you sayin’?” “Nothing really.” said Steven “You wouldn’t be interested” “No man tell me.” Steven looked for a waitress one came over and said “Would you like to order now?” “Yeah” said Joe “A coffee and......” he glanced over the menu to see what sounded appetizing. “Pancakes”. He looked at Steven “Milk. Uh- same thing he’s having but I want some sausage to go with it.” “Okay” said the waitress she glanced at them both. “I’ll be back in a minute with your drinks.” She left and Joe said “So what is it?” “Okay” said Steven “I got a call saying that there is some mystery artist that want us to tour with them as the opening act.” Joe sat a minute to think about something. The waitress brought them their drinks. Steven took a straw put it in the glass and took a long sip. “I wonder who it is.” he said Joe answered quickly. “Maybe it’s the Backstreet Boys.” Steven gave him a look said ‘I don’t think so!’ Then he said “Funny Joe.” To annoy him Steven blew bubbles in his milk and sucked them up. “Come on!” said Joe “Stop! So have you told the others yet? ” “No. I’ve been tryin’ out my new Lambrogini.” “Tomorrow we need to get together and discuss this.” “Why?” said Steven. “Because it could be the Backstreet Boys.” “It was funny the first time Joe. Anyway the mystery artist want us to come to some place in New York and perform for them next week so they can be sure they really want us.” They talked for a good ten minutes then the waitress came. “Here you go. Enjoy.” she said. Joe began to pour on the syrup. “That sounds nerve-racking” he said. “When next week?” he took a bite of his pancakes “Tuesday” answered Steven. Joe swallowed hard “Tuesday? It’s Thursday right now! They could have at least given us a weeks notice.” “Right” said Steven “You have plans.” Joe took another bite. “I didn’t say that.” he said with a mouthful. “The Rolling Stones” said Steven. “Rolling Stones? What about them?” “They want us to open for them.” said Steven. Joe shook his head and said “How do you know?” “Hey who else that big would want us to open for them?” “I don’t know Joe shrugged. “The Beatles?” Steven let out a little laugh and swallowed a bit fork full of pancakes. “Hey you never know.” “I’m saying the same thing”. Joe put down his fork and pushed the chair back. Then Steven said “Could imagine ending a set with something like “Sweet Emotion” then another set that opens with “She Loves You” yea yea?” Steven took another bite. Joe said “yea” Steven looked at him and he said “You didn’t finish.” Steven rolled his eyes and said “You not going eat the rest.” “No” Joe aid “You just made me nervous and now I can’t eat.” He took a drink of his coffee Steven snickered. “It’s not funny man. I feel like I’m gonna go have to go and puke or somthin’.” “Got some butterflies I see.” said Steven as he munched on some sausage. Joe got up to leave Steven grabbed the last two sausage links and left a tip for the waitress. Joe went up to the counter to pay. “Hey man. Thanks for payin’” said Steven. Joe looked at him with a sly smile and said “The pleasures all mine.” “Will you sign here?” said the old women at the counter. He signed it. Steven looked over his shoulder and was handed his own credit card. Steven looked down and started to say something but stopped.

They went out to the curb there wasn’t that much traffic. Steven walked in front of his brand new Lambrigini stroking it. He clicked a button on his key chain. “Want a ride a ride and see what she can do?” “No. I gotta go.” Joe put on his sunglasses and yelled “See ya Steven!”. Steven probably couldn’t hear him as he screeched down the street. Joe turned a corner and heard a police siren. He got into his car which was a cherry red convertible and drove off. He turned on the radio and let down the top. The song that was on had just faded out and an ad for the station came on and was followed by “Highway Star” by Deep Purple. He turned it up and cruised down the street. He stopped at a stoplight and quickly began to day dream about who the mystery artist was. His thoughts were interrupted by a horn honking he looked up and the light was green and he went on. As he turned he saw Steven’s car parked in front of an ATM machine he stopped. “What’s going on?” he said. Steven looked at him and said “Just getting-” he looked at a piece of paper he had in his hand. “550 dollars.” “550 dollars for what?” Joe said as if he didn’t know. “I was pulled over for speeding” said Steven. Joe laughed and pulled away.

Later that night Tom was at home looking at a globe trying to find countries on it. He was bored, he hoped this would pass the time. He clicked on a computer on a desk a box popped up with the word : “Jabuti”. “Jabuti?” said Tom “What kind of a name is that?” The phone rang and he went to pick it up. “Hamilton’s Bordello you bought it you go it!” Joe was on the other end he laughed and said “Funny. They keep getting more and more original.” Tom went back to his globe. “Hey!” said Joe “Has Steven called you today?” “Yes.” answered Tom “What’d he say?” “The first words out of his mouth were and I quote: ‘Damn it I got busted for speeding!’” Joe laughed “What else?” “Well he mentioned the little mystery gig for the mystery artist.” Tom spun the globe around Joe said “Yeah. Makes you a little nervous don’t it?” “It does. Hey! Would you happen to know where Jabuti is?” Joe paused. He then answered sarcastically “Same place it’s been since I was born” he laughed at his little joke. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” said Tom. “Actually it’s sounds like it could be-” “Found it!” “What are doing?” asked Joe. “Finding a cure for boredom.” said Tom. “The cure’s in Jabuti?” “No I’m looking up countries randomly on the map because I’m bored.” “Liechtenstein” “Liechtenstein?” “Find it." Tom began to look on the map. He couldn’t find it. “Can you possibly give me a continent?” “Europe.” “Hey I found it!” Joe said “I gotta go. Bye.” “Bye.” Tom walked over to his computer. He clicked on the mouse a box popped up on the screen it said: “Moldova” Tom continued on his search.

The next morning the band met at their rehearsal space to pratice and disscuss the Mystery Artist. "If it is the Stones, we should pratice Honkey Tonk Women." said Brad. Tom then chimed in "Well if it's the Backstreet Boys I'm not going to try and learn I'll Never Break Your Heart!" "You've been talkin' Joe." said Steven. It was hard for Tom to hear it because of Joey loudly pounding his drums. "Joey turn down that racket!" yelled Tom in a fatherly scolding type voice. He stopped to looked at him shrugged and continued. Tom shook his head. A man came in everyone stopped (including Joey) and looked at him. He was short and heavy with red hair and wearing a medium blue buisness suit. He looked at the boys and said in a rather thick british accent, "Well I guess you're Aerosmith. I have a bit of news for you." "What?" questiond Joe. "The uh- Mystery artist has a few requests." He handed Steven a peice of paper it had songs listed on it. "Those," the man said "Are songs they would like to hear. You don't have to play them but they would appreciate it if you would." They stared at the list most of the ones listed were their more popular ones like "Rag Doll" and "Walk This Way" and there were some interesting songs on it. Make that a few interesting ones:

1] Woman of the World

2] Can't Get it Up

3] Chiquita

4] The Hop

"Woman of the World" said Steven quietly to himself. The man shook hands with everyone and said "Well. I'm off! See you Tuesday!" "See you Tuesday!" said Joe. Steven didn't say much except "Who is this? Who is this?" They ran through the four songs and those four sounded a bit shaky. "We'll nail it again by Tuesday." said Steven. Tuesday wasn't far away.......

And Tuesday came quicker than they expected. The whole band was standing in front of a very run down werehouse. "Is this the place?" said Tom. He blew his hands to keep them warm, it was an unusually chilly morning. "It's the place." said Steven "Says it right here on the paper." Everyone stood around waiting to see if someone was going to answer the door. Brad breathed out heavily and his breath was visible. Tom saw this and pushed his way past Joe and Steven and knocked on the door. "I'm freezing. I want to go in. Out here, Cold. In there, Warm." Joe laughed and said "Good you did pay attention in Kindergarden when they dissused Hot and Cold". Tom breathed in his face showing a cloud of his breathe. The door opened and a tall man with blonde hair stood in the door. He was huge! At least 7'2" and he was really muscular. "Yes?" he said in a deep voice. "What do you want?" The band looked at each other. Steven stepped forward and said "We're here for the auditions." The huge guy looked at them all and said "Follow me." Which they did. They came to a door which opened to a little room where there was already equipment set up. Standing in the center was the red haired guy. He smiled when he saw the band and said "Hello gentlemen! You remeber me right? My name is Ronald. We'll give you a few minutes to warm up then on with the show. Is that good? Great! Now go on, I'll be back in a few minutes to let you know when to start." He left and the band began to tune and and warm up. As they did this a shadowy figure sat down in a chair up in the rafters. Brad noticed this and pointed up. "Look up there." "Who's that?" said Joe. "The Mystey Artist." said Ronald as he renterd the room. "Now go on get started." The band huddled up. "It's the shadowy figure. OOOOO" said Steven. Tom looked up again "Jeeze why doesn't stroke a hair less cat as well?" They all laughed got themselves organized and went into "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" After it was over the figure clapped and Steven said "Okay this next one's goin' out the man on the catwalk!" They went into "The Hop". The mini show lasted a good 90 minutes. They played a bunch of other songs including: "Dream on" "Chiquita" and yes folks "Woman of the World". After the set was over Ronald came out to applaud them "Marvoules! Marvolues! Good Show!" He shook hands with them and said "Okay go into that office and we'll draw up papers for a contract." "Does that mean they like us?" said Joey. "They Love You!" said Ronald see you in a bit." The band put down their stuff and walked into the office.

There was a rather clutterd desk in one corner. The guys sat down where ever they could find room. Brad was left standing. There was a aquarium with a couple of gold fish swimming around. Joe tapped on the glass and said "The way this place looks I'm suprised these little guys are alive." He continued to tap the glass Tom came over and started to do the same, "Mabey the guy cares more about the fish than he does the office." Joe stuck his hand in the tank and splashed the water. The door opened he quickly took his hand out. It was Ronald he smiled and said "Well here are the contracts. You can read them and then sign them." He handed one to each member. Joe took his and forgot his hand was wet which dampend the paper. They read over the contracts. Steven read some it out loud: "Try to keep the profanity down." He looked up "This must be someone like Ricky Martin!" "Well?" said Ronald do you agree with the contract?" They gathered in a small group and discussed it. "Hey lets do it!" said Joey. "I don't know that shadowy figure reminded me of Dr. Evil." said Brad. "Yeah. I think Brad's right" said Tom in a sarcastic tone. "He could kidnap us and hold us ransom for...." he paused and put his pinky to his lip. "100 Billion Dollars!" They laughed and Steven said "Let's sign" they all turned around. "Show me the dotted line" said Tom. They all signed it. Ronald said "That's good. I'll be back to introduce you to the main act." He left and all of the band had a minor panick attack. Who was it? Tom decided to help with the axniety a little bit. He smiled and said "Aw man I'm so excited.... I- I- think I'm gonna hurl." Joe laughed a little and said "Hey man don't hurl because if I get a whif of that I'm gonna spew. And if I blow chunks chances are someone else if honk. And that'll set off-" "Yeah we've heard this before!" said Steven. He went to the door and peaked out he saw Ronald talking with someone. He took a good look at them and his mouth dropped and he said very quietly "Oh my god." He turned to the others and slumped into a chair. "What's wrong Steven?" said Joey Steven tried to speak but the door opened. And the man who walked in nearly caused everyone to pass out.........

The "Mystery Artist" was there. Joe's jaw dropped Tom blinked his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things, Brad shook his head in disbelief and Joey just stood with this look. (To describe it in words: "You should have been there to see it") Steven just sat in his chair and laughed quietly yo himself. "Hello guys!" said Paul, "I think you all know me". Steven continued to laugh quietly. It was Paul Mccartney and for those of you who don't know who he is: (bass player for the Beatles. Wrote songs including "Yesterday" and "Let it be" Knighted by The Queen.) He went around the room shaking hands with everyone he got to Steven who immediatly stood up and shook his hand with a grin. "Good to have you guys along for the ride" said Paul, "you got the tour dates see you in 3 weeks." He left and everyone was excited/nervous/in disbelief. Joe said "I was semi-right" "You said the Backstreet Boys" said Brad. "Well yeah but then Steven mentioned opening for the Rolling Stones and I said it couldn't be the Stones and he said well who then and I said The Beatles" Steven started laughing again "I can't believe it." he said. Just then the door opened again and Paul peeked in saying "Hey could I jam with you guys for a while?" "Hold on." said Steven. He gatherd the others into a group. "What?" said Brad. "Nothing really." said Steven, "Any comments from the peanut gallery?" They came out of their huddle and Steven said "Sure!" "Great!" said Paul "I'll get me guitar and see you in a bit!"

The band left the office and went out to the area where they had played. Paul was standing there as was the huge guy from before. It was obvious he was crowding Paul "Come on Sam" he complained "Go sit down dude! I'll be fine!" At hearing Paul say "Dude" Steven once again began to giggle to himself. Paul strummed a C chord and said "All right we're in buisness." he looked at the band. "Come on! Let's go! I got 20 minutes before I have to go a press confrence" Joey sat down as Tom and Brad put their instruments around their necks. He hit the bass drum. It echoed around the large room. "Do that again." said Steven. Joey hit the bass drum harder and it echoed even longer. "Big place" said Tom as if he hadn't noticed before. "So what you wanna play?" said Paul. "Oh- Well- Ya' know. Whatever you want to play." said Joe. Paul looked at Tom who was playing around on his bass and said "Let's play "Sweet Emotion". That's a rocker." Tom stopped playing looked around at everyone and simply and quickly said "Thank You." Joey laughed and Tom turned around and gave him a mean look. They played "Sweet Emotion" Paul joined in at the chorus parts. They also played "I'm Down". The supposed-to-be twenty minute jam session turned into 30 minutes ended with "Train Kept A' Rollin'". Paul looked at his watched and said "Bloody hell I'm gonna be late". He picked up his guitar shoved his axe in it. He put on his coat and made a run for the door. "See ya guys! Had fun! Bye!". The band just stood in silence in disbeilief about what had just happend.

They went out to their cars (they decide not to take a limo) and everyone said "Bye" and "See ya later" And took off. While Joey was at a red light they station he had it on came back from commercails and tthe D.J. said "Now we're going to take you to Paul Mccartney's press confrerence where he's about to announce plans for a tour". Joey reached down to get his cell phone and heard a honk and looked up. Behind him was Brad in his car. Joey leaned out his window and yelled "Hey Brad! Turn the radio 98.8!" Brad did it honked his horn and waved at Joey who pulled away. (Now then in the following few lines I will put in the important part of the press confrerence):

Question: So Paul who's going to be your opening act?

Paul: Well it's not Oasis. (laughter) Actually I'm a big fan of this band and they'll go on for 90 minutes a half hour break then I'll come on. It's Aerosmith

(Anyway.... The Bands Reaction????)

Joey beeped his horn at car going past him and waved and pointed at the radio not realizing it was Steven who yelled "Yeah man! Isn't it cool?" Joey let out a yell of excitement and Steven yelled right back.

A few hours later everyone was resting at home. Brad was chatting in a chat room as VDMedMan69. Some kid mentioned Aerosmith opening for Paul McCartney. Everyone in the room thought it was a cool idea so Brad decided he would totally disagree with them all. He typed "I dont like the idea of McCartney and Aerosmith together". Then a kid answered "Why not? Mccartney's pretty cool". Then another kid typed "I love Aerosmith and the Beatles I think it would be great!" Yet another typed "You don't like the Beatles MedMan?" Brad typed "Actaully I like the idea I just wanted to see what you all would do if i disagreed with you lol" Everyone had something to say about his comment so Brad typed "I gotta go. see ya'll later." Then he logged off. He got up and turned on the TV he flipped through some channels until he came to VH1 which had the daily one on and they were talking about Mccartney's press confrence that went on that day. The guy said "I find it a little weird that McCartney would tour with Aerosmith. I mean you go to the concert and one set it ends with "Sweet Emotion" then the next set opens with something like "Drive my Car" or "Band on the Run"-" One of the ladies broke in and said "Well you know mabey Aerosmith could close the show with "Dream On" and Paul could open with "Helter Skelter" or something like that." Th one guy of the group laughed and began singing "Helter Skelter" Brad shook his head and turned off the TV. He had better things to do.

A few days later the band was rehearsing for the tour. During the middle of "Pink" there was a knock at the door but no one heard it. At the end of the song there was a very loud bang at the door. "Tom go get it!" said Steven, he blew on his harmonica. Tom took his bass off and ran to open the door. He opened it and standing there was Paul. "Jee wiz you guys know how to answer a door?" scolded Paul. "Well- I- We we're rehearsing and we couldn't hear the knocking." "Oh" said Paul, "I just came by to see how you were doing and give the tour dates." He handed them some papers that had the list of the shows on here. Joe counted them "There's only 23 shows on this tour?" he asked "Yeah and since I announced that I'd be touring with you we've sold out all but I think two or three shows." "Cool" said Joey and he took the paper out Joe's hand. Joe snatched it back and snapped "I'm not done with it!" "Were you playing "Pink" a few minutes ago?" asked Paul. "Yeah." said Steven. "I like that one" said Paul, "Specially the harmonica part." He went back to the door to leave. "I gotta go" He said, "See you later". Paul left leaving the band to rehearse some more.

The weeks of reheasal seem to fly by for the band, they only had to do two things really rehearse and keep their cool. The night before they were set to leave for the first show (which was Chicago lol!) VH1 had a McCartney night where they played his videos and specials. They ended the night with a special on the tour which had critics scrutinizing and tearing apart Paul and Aerosmith. Steven laughed and mocked the critics particularly this lady with with frizzy red hair and a nasaly New York accent (sort of like Fran Dresher). The phone rang in Stevens room and he reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" "Hey Steven!" It was Paul "I just wanted to call and see if you were geared up for tommarow night." "I am." replied Steven. "Well just in case I don't get to see you tommarow break a leg. Uh- I mean it figurativly. Not like that show Alaska." Steven laughed and Paul said "Well goodnight." "Bye." Steven hung up and looked at the clock it was 10:30. "Might as well go to bed now." he said. He turned off the TV and went to bed.

The next night was the first show. Backstage Steven was singing to himself while he changed into his stage clothes. Tom was snacking on a bowl of potatoe chips. "Hey" said Joey, "Why don't we open with "Come Together"? It'd be cool." "Nah." said Joe who was pulling a loose string off his shirt. "Let's keep it "Toys in the Attic" as the opener and put "Come Together" later in the show." There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" yelled Steven. A young guy with a shaved head and a nose ring popped his head in the door and said "It's time to go." Everyone followed the kid to the stage. Joey looked out from the side of the stage. Tom and Steven looked too and the place was packed with people! "Wow" said a voice from behind them. "That's a lot of people." The band turned around and Paul was standing there. "You guys better go on. They're waiting for you." The roadies handed Joe and Brad their guitars and Tom his bass. Joey clicked his sticks together and Steven grabbed his mike. The curtains went down the lights went out and the show was about begin.

The lights in the house dimmed and the crowd hushed. The band stepped behind the curtains and the lights on the stage went on. There was feedback like they were going to go into "Nine Lives" but they went into "Toys in the Attic." It was a hot 90 minute set and the band tore through song after song. Near the end of the set Paul was standing at the side of the stage rockin' with the everyone else in the place. The band began "Come Together" and the crowd cheered so loud it was almost deafning. Steven went over to Tom so they could sing together at the mike on the chourus. When it was over the crowd was cheering for a good long time. Paul was at the side of the stage whistling and cheering. Then Tom went to the front of the stage and started a bass solo. He looked over at Paul who was smiling and bobbing his head with the beat. Tom finished his solo and began that familiar bit of "Sweet Emotion". Paul gave the band the metal sign from the side of the stage. As Steven started singing a man came beside Paul at the side of the stage. Who whispered something into Paul's ear and they started arguing. Finally Paul just shook his head and left the side of the stage he looked like a kid that missed his favorite TV show. The show ended and Steven yelled "Good night Chicago!"

They walked offstage yelling and slapping each other high fives. "We bad." said Brad. Tom laughed and hollered. Paul came out of his dressing room buttoning up his shirt. He looked at the band and whined "The said I had to come back here and get ready and I missed the end of the show." He made a sad puppy face. "We'll stay and watch you don't worry." said Steven. Paul's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he yelled "Cool!" He went back into his dressing room and began to sing "Same Old Song and Dance" so loud everyone who walked by could hear him. Joe wiped the sweat off the back of his neck with towel and smiled. "Sing it Paul!" yelled Steven. About twenty minutes later Sam the body guard came by and said to Paul "It's time for you to go on." Paul put on his jacket and made his way twoards Aerosmith's dressing room. He opened the door and yelled "Hey come on I gotta go on!" he gave a yell and ran for the stage. The band followed him and he took his bass and stepped out onto the stage.

There were no curtains. No pyro. Paul just walked out onto the stage and everyone cheered. "This is gonna be great!" yelled Tom. Paul and his band then went into "I Saw Her Standing There" an old Beatles tune. Steven, Joe, Brad, Tom and Joey sang along to every word. A piano was rolled onto the stage later in the show and Paul began "Live and Let Die". Steven let out a yell everytime a bomb went off. Then there was an acoustic set which ended with "Yesterday". Lighters everywhere. Steven fumbled around in a little bag to find one and when he went to light it, it didn't. The show was almost over and Paul say down at the piano and yelled "Are you having a good time?" Brad sarcasticly yelled "No!" The audience cheered as Paul began to sing "Hey Jude". There was a part at the end where the audience was singing the chorus and Paul yelled "Let's get Aerosmith out here!" Joe's mouth dropped a little bit but they managed to drag themselves out there. Paul got up from the piano and took his mike with him. He got in between Joe and Tom and put his arms around them and they began to sing the chorus. When it was over the crowd screamed and cheered and people began to chant, "Encore! Encore!". Paul looked at the crowd and nodded his head in agreement, he yelled into the mike "You want an encore you got one!" He ran over to Steven and whispered something in his ear. Steven's eyes lit up and he shook his head yes. Steven gathered the others and said something to them and they ran offstage excitedly. Paul's band went offstage and Aerosmith came back on stage with their instruments. Paul gave Steven a cue and Steven screamed into the mike the first few lyrics to "I'm Down." For the rest of the song Paul and Steven sang the rest of the song together at Steven's microphone. When the song was over they all got a Standing O. Paul yelled "Goodnight Chicago!" Everyone walked offstage felling energised.

Well to sum everything up the tour was a HUGE success! It was ranked in the top 10 highest grossing tour of the year. It sold out at every city and on the last show, (Live from Madison Square Garden) was broadcast all over the world. You could say it was a high point for the band. You could say that would never happen in a million (it might this is only a story). But just think if that really happend.

T H E E N D ! !

To Learn More About Sir Paul Mccartney Click Here!